On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
