been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
