We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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