what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
