After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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