Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
two words...techno handjob
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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