You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
did i walk over a car last night?
Just invented taco cereal.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
