Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
