I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
