I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Girls should come with a carfax report
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
