Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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