Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
