Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
