If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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