I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
