is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
