i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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