i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
