it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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