why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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