He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
