U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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