youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
