He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
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