shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize