So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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