Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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