The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
