I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize