Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
