He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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