i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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