benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
