Buhtt sex?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
In other news, I just burned my penis
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
