Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
