Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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