Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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