No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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