I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
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I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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