Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
