is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
