kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
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You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
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He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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