do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Just pee around me
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
