Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
