Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
