why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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