She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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