he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
