the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
