Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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