Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Randomize
