And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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