Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
