pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
