i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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