My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
