I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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