I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
