Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
