Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
