tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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